I invented a new word: crappetite. I have an appetite for crap. I should send it to that contest whatever newspaper has every year. Does anyhow know which paper it is?
Anyhow, my crappetite has been in full swing this weekend. I have been eating pizza, fried foods, etc. My stomach is paying for it.
I had a mini-meltdown this weekend. It was like I felt imprisoned in my life. I wanted to pack up a little kerchief and take my walking stick out on the wide road, hop a freight and ...just disappear... except the strong suspicion that I would just find more of the same a few boxcars down the line.
I have learned that when some aspect of your life becomes particularly confining it is by necessity about to transform, because you have outgrown it. I compare this to the once cozy and nurturing cocoon of the caterpillar that becomes a death trap that the chrysalis must escape. But this was more, every single thing in the world just sucked and I hated everything.
I ended up doing nothing Saturday and Sunday and finally on Sunday afternoon I just went to bed. I got up to water the yard and do some other things that have to be done everyday, then I went back to bed. I still wasn't back to myself this morning, but I was better. And I exhausted myself in the yard today. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow.
Happy Belated Memorial Day and THANKS to all the vet's and all the troops that have ever served this country!!!
TOODLE ON!!!
8 comments:
Uhm, excuse me Toods, but boxcars are not safe to travel in...you may just really "disappear". Okay, now I feel better about that...tho I am trying to work in "boxcar willy" in here.
Ohh those days are not a great deal of funfunfun are they. You did the best thing to get thru them. Hope you wake up all chipper like girl :)
"I have learned that when some aspect of your life becomes particularly confining it is by necessity about to transform" That's an interesting idea. A transformation for the better I hope.
I eagerly await your emergence from the cocoon of your present existence.
crappetite!!! You know I love it when we make up words!!
Ahh... the ol' run away and escape feelings, eh? Nothing feels right and you're not comfortable in your own skin? Or maybe it's different for you, I don't know.
Glad you are gradually feeling better. Hey- you even posted.
crappetite..works for me!
thanks for posting my blog as a good laugh...i wouldnt have posted it but i had sent a mini review of the incident to babs and she said i should post it..think she is still laughing..
i did the same thing this weekend that you did..not a fucking thing...and you know what? no guilt either...it's my life and ill fuckit off if i wanna...
Hope things are going better for you at this point. I know that feeling though...however my "kerchief" (LMAO at the mental image I have of you doing that!) would have to have 18 wheels to carry my stuff.
Boxcars are a good analogy Toodler. They're linked, contain all manner of things, and are a weight that we must pull. Jumping over the back fence can be a welcome relief, but ultimately those damn boxcars come back again. Must be that dealing with the boxcars is the only way out.
Okay, time to come back from sabbatical dear! You are missed!
Okay Toods give us a sign that you made it thru 666 intact.
Psst make mine a rainbow :)
Dang it I hope I spell the word verification right this time. I am slightly ashamed to say its my third go at it :))
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